we could be just as we are
by kohee
Summary: First dates are usually awkward, but this is really not the usual sort of first date. Barba/Benson [Coffee Shop AU]


one-shot; _we could be just as we are_ _  
_pairing: rafael barba & olivia benson  
word count: 2511 words  
note: Set in my SVU Coffee Shop AU. As usual, reading the earlier works will give it more context, as I made past inferences, but can sorta be a stand-alone.

 _begin_

Liv adjusts the hem of her dress and peers critically at herself in the mirror. Her hair is done up a bun, the type that is designed to look deliberately messy and fashionable. At least that was what Lucy told her as she was helping Liv to get ready for her evening. Lucy had also helped to choose her dress – a red wrap dress with geometric prints and a flowy skirt.

 _Dressy without being too over-dressed_ , Lucy had said.

Liv smiles to herself, remembering how her babysitter had seemed even more enthusiastic about her date than she herself.

It's not that she's _not_ excited, it's actually kind of hard to pinpoint her feelings about this. This is technically their first date. And after all that had transpired between her and Rafael, it's a weird sort of situation to be in for first date – she could honestly say. In all of her past dating history, first dates had never really presented themselves in this manner.

She shakes her head slightly, snapping herself out of her little reverie. It's ten minutes to seven, Rafael will be coming by soon. He insisted on picking her up at her apartment when they made the arrangements – _a proper first date_ – he had said, grinning slyly before kissing her.

Liv unscrews her mascara, giving her eyelashes a quick coat, and another one. She glides a subtle shade of red lipstick across her lips, and then spritzes herself with her favourite perfume. She looks at herself again in the mirror, and decides that she is satisfied with the way she looks.

She picks up her clutch, slips her feet into her most comfortable black heels, and walks out of her bedroom, into the living room, where Noah and Lucy are sitting on the floor, surrounded by blocks.

"Mommy pretty!" Noah cheers as he totters onto his feet, holding out his arms for a hug. Liv scoops him up and gives him a kiss on the cheek. "Mommy go where?"

"Mommy is going for dinner with a friend," she tells him, ruffling his hair. "You be a good boy for Lucy, okay?"

"Okay, Mommy." He says agreeably. "Mommy dinner with Donut Man?"

Rafael had called him a perceptive child and he was absolutely right. "Yes, baby. But Mommy will be home very soon."

At that moment, the doorbell rings, and Lucy jumps up, heading for the door. She opens it, and Liv can hear the murmured exchange of pleasantries before Lucy reappears in the living room, Rafael behind her.

He's dressed in a crisp white shirt with discreet blue polka dots, black slacks and a matching jacket, and Liv realises that this is the first time she's seen him in something else rather than his usual polo shirts, jeans and that ever present apron.

And by the look in his eyes as he gazes at her, she knows that he appreciates the effort that she has put in tonight. She gives Noah another squeeze and hands him to Lucy.

"Ready to go?" He asks her, and she nods. "But oh, before we do…"

Rafael turns to Noah in Lucy's arms, and hands him the brown paper bag he has been holding. "For you, _amigo_."

"Donuts?" Noah says instantly, taking the bag.

He laughs. "Yes. Your Mamì told me these are your favourite."

"Thank you." Noah enunciates carefully, and he flashes a brilliant smile at Rafael.

Rafael smiles back, and gives him a pat on the head. Liv kisses her son again, and looks at Lucy. "I'll take good care of him," she assures, and Liv nods. "I know you will."

She collects her coat and her clutch, and she heads out of her apartment with Rafael, for their first date.

* * *

"So, that's your strategy? To win my son over with donuts?" She teases as they exit her building.

"All part of my grand plan, Olivia. The donuts are just the beginning."

"Oh? Are you planning to turn my son into a sweets junkie?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

Liv punches him lightly on the upper arm as they walk, and he winces in mock pain, catching her hand. He doesn't let go after that, however, instead he chooses to lace her fingers with his. She returns the pressure on his hand, but could feel a slight blush staining her cheeks and she berates herself internally.

 _Seriously, Liv. What are you, a teenager?_

"Do tell me, Rafael," she says quickly, before he could notice her blush. "What _is_ the grand plan for tonight? I must say, I'm surprised we're walking. I'd taken you as the type to sweep your dates off their feet in a chauffeured limousine." She says jokingly.

"Olivia, I own a café, not a publicly listed company." He says dryly. "But rest assure, I have something very special planned for dinner, and we'll be there soon."

She laughs and squeezes his hand. Noting the familiar route as they walk, she has a pretty good idea as to where Rafael has planned for dinner to be, and she's proven right when they stop in front of The Daily Dose.

"My lady," he says theatrically, opening the door with a flourish. "Your dinner awaits."

She walks in, and blinks at the transformation of the café. Most of the tables and chairs have disappeared, leaving one table and two chairs in the middle of the room. The lights have been dimmed, and tealight candles adorn the space as well as the table. Strands of fairy lights twinkle on the walls, and there are fresh flowers arranged tastefully, with a simple and elegant arrangement at the centre of the dinner table.

"Wow." She says slowly, transfixed at the beauty of the lights and the flowers, and the effort Rafael must have put into the change of the café. "Rafael…this is _beautiful_."

She doesn't miss the slight flicker of relief across his face, and she finds that absolutely endearing that he is _nervous_. "So…have I swept you off your feet?"

She's about to answer when Rita's voice rings out from the back of the café. "Don't take sole credit for this, Barba." She emerges, coat in hand, a knowing smile on her face.

"Calhoun, you're supposed to have left by now." Rafael growls at his partner.

She scoffs, putting on her coat. "How about some gratitude, Barba? Nearly broke my damn back shoving all those chairs and tables into storage."

" _Fine_ , I'll kiss your feet in gratitude tomorrow."

"I'm holding you to that." Rita tosses back and shrugs on her coat. "Have a good night, you two." But the smile she throws Liv is genuine, and with a tinkle of the bell, she's gone.

Liv looks at Rafael with a curious air. "You two seemed…close."

"Olivia, are you asking what I think you're asking?"

She lifts one shoulder in a shrug, looking at him.

He bursts into laughter. "Oh God, no. No. Never. Not a chance in hell. But we _are_ good friends, Rita and I, and we go way back. But that's about it, I swear."

"But enough of this chatter…as your date, I promised to feed you, so…" He pulls out one chair, grinning. "Sit down, and be prepared to be amazed."

* * *

Liv sips her wine idly as Rafael comes out from the kitchen, placing a plate of intricately arranged seared scallops in front her. He takes off his apron and sits down across from her. "Bon appetit."

The scallops smell wonderful, and she's pretty hungry, so she spears a seared scallop into her mouth, chewing carefully. "Wow. You're right, I am amazed."

Rafael smiles smugly, taking a bite of his own scallops.

"I have to admit, I didn't think you could cook."

"Is that what you think, that all I know is how to make coffee? Stick with me, Lieutenant, and you'll find out that I am a man of many talents."

"Well, I supposed there is a huge advantage in dating a man who can cook – at the very least, I'll never go hungry."

"There are other advantages in dating me, you know." He says, taking a sip of his scotch.

"Oh? And what's that?"

He smirks at her over the rim of his scotch glass. "My charming and irresistible personality, for one."

"And extreme modesty to boot." She counters, smiling.

"But of course."

* * *

"Boliche." Rafael announces, setting down the plate in front of her. The dish is made up of beef, chorizo sausages, potatoes and rice. It looks fairly simple but the smell is so rich and appetizing, Liv could practically feel her mouth watering.

"It's a traditional Cuban dish," he continues. "And this is my _abuelita's_ recipe, and the best recipe I know."

Liv cuts into the meat, and it falls apart on her plate, tender and melting in her mouth. "God, this is so good."

"I know." He says, with that assured arrogance that she's definitely used to seeing. Only now it doesn't grate on her nerves like it used to, and that wasn't _too_ long ago.

"You know, this isn't my usual sort of first date." She scoops up some rice with the beef, cutting a slice of potato to go with it.

"Olivia, are you going to delve into the history of your first dates? I think that can wait until our third or fourth date…"

She laughs, giving him a light kick under the table. "No, that's not what I am about to tell you. It just feels…kind of weird. First dates are usually tinged with awkwardness, with all the small talk that could actually turn out to be boring. With us…"

She pauses, trying to find a way to put it into words. "It's like I know you, but yet I _don't_ know you."

He chews on a mouthful of beef, pondering her words. He gets what she means, because he kind of feels the same way. On one hand, he feels so comfortable with her that it seems like he has known her for ages, and on the other hand, so many parts of her is still an enigma to him.

"Well, let's rectify the not knowing part, shall we? What do you want to know about me?"

She opens her mouth, but he holds up his hand, smiling. "But fair's fair, I answer your questions, and you answer mine."

Liv lifts a forkful of beef to her lips. "Fair. You go first."

* * *

They talk throughout the evening. They start off with the basics of their childhood, and Liv surprises herself by telling Rafael the whole sordid truth, instead of the edited, truncated version she usually tell boyfriends in the early phase of a relationship. With him, it's different somehow, she doesn't feel the need to hide or omit anything, it just seems right that he should know about her fractured childhood.

He returns the honesty, confiding in her about his father, their difficult relationship, and his mother, often caught in the middle. He tells her how he vowed to be better than his father, and that education is the only way out of _el barrio_ , and he worked his ass off to get that coveted scholarship to Harvard.

Here he pauses. He's not sure he wants to talk about his career as an ADA in Brooklyn. It's still something that he doesn't like to talk about. Rafael has no doubt that he would eventually tell her, tell her everything that went down there, and what it did to him, but he just doesn't feel that the current atmosphere is the right one to be going down that path.

They switch over to more random topics -their likes, their dislikes, all the usual first date stuff. But with them, it is never awkward, it doesn't feel monotonous or robotic, the conversation just _flows_ and it's so easy and natural.

"Wait, are you telling me you actually like Broadway musicals?" Liv grins, leaning forward, her chin in her hands. The dessert plate in front of her is empty, and she is stuffed to the brim.

"Correction, I _love_ them." He smirks. "I used to dabble in theatre, in university. I was this close to auditioning for Broadway."

"Rafael, are you also trying to tell me that you can _sing_ and _dance_?"

"Like I said earlier this evening…I am a man of many talents." He reiterates.

She surprises herself by reaching across the table and taking his hand. "Well, I hope I will be privy to all your…talents."

His fingers start tracing lines across her palm, and his hand is warm in hers, soft against her skin despite the calluses on his palms. His green eyes pierce into hers, and she thinks she can read the expression in them, because she feels the same.

But she's not _quite_ ready, and if he could be honest, neither is he. This feels too precious, and too delicate to really rush head first into everything, despite that one close encounter they had a short while ago.

This is going to be different, this may be _it_ for all they know, and they will take all the time they need.

* * *

They stop outside her apartment as Liv fishes her key out of her clutch. She turns to him, suddenly feeling a little shy. "Do you want to come in?"

He shakes his head. "It's late, Noah's probably sleeping and I don't want to wake him. Besides, I have the early shift tomorrow – and for the next two weeks – as bargained by Rita in return for her helping me today."

Liv laughs. "She knows how to cut a deal."

"Oh, that she does."

"Well, good night, Rafael. I had a truly wonderful time."

"Does that mean you'll go out with me again?" He says teasingly.

"If you ask me again, I definitely will." She grins at him.

"This Friday, then? Dinner?"

She makes a show of pretending to think about it, and then she nods. "I supposed I _can_ slot you in for my Friday evening."

"Oh, I am so honoured."

"Sarcasm doesn't become you, Rafael."

"Really, I thought it's part of my charm." He smiles at her lazily.

She raises her eyebrow at him, one hand on the door knob. A slight pause settles between them, as she looks at him expectantly.

He leans in first, and she meets him in the middle. He kisses her, soft at first and then more insistent, moving his lips over hers as he winds his arm around her waist, one hand cupping her cheek. She sighs into the kiss, threading her fingers through his hair.

"You know," he murmurs against her lips. "I don't usually kiss on the first date."

She pulls away a little from him. "Yeah, I guess you prefer to kiss even before the first date."

He laughs. "Only when it comes to you, Liv." The nickname slips out even before he realises it, and by the way she's smiling at him, he reckons that it's perfectly okay.

Rafael thinks he wants to kiss her again, so he does just that.

 _end_


End file.
